| | We offered kindly to donate them Calais And all they gave us back was the bidet
 And now they won't let us go on holiday
 They bottle bath-water [or 7 Up] and call it Perrier
 They eat poor froggie's legs then throw the rest away
 They even like the look of Johnny Holliday
 They eat raw garlic and invented croquet
 They think the height of chic is John Paul Gautier
 That's why I hate the French, mmm,
 That's why I hate the French
 
 They all wear berets and they're all called Jacques,
 They even steal from us the words they lack
 Le weekend, Le Camping and cul de sac
 That's why I hate the French, oh,
 That's why I hate the French.
 
 They claim their films are the best we've ever had
 Well I suppose Emmannuelle wasn't bad
 All their songs sound more or less the same
 La la la la la la la la.........je t'aime
 Charles Aznavour is always so depressed
 Wouldn't you be if oui oui meant yes?
 
 Sacha Distel has raindrops falling on his head
 I wonder if Jean Paul Sartre knows he is dead
 What I resent is that they're so good in bed
 That's why I hate the French, oh,
 That's why I hate the French.
 
 They bake their bread in such a naughty shape
 They brag about their wine and worship the grape
 They criticise our food but then they eat crepe
 That's why I hate the French, oh,
 That's why I hate the French.
 
 And now they started coming here in droves
 French cigarettes, French letters and French clothes
 For breakfast they have croissant or French toast
 And there's always some French letters in the post
 I'm sick and tired of eating all this brie
 A day trip to Boulougne is fine by me
 And I'll be buggered if I go to gay Paris.
 
 They're pretty cocky 'bout their games in the dark
 They think with girls they light a special spark
 But look what the bastards did to Joan of Arc
 That's why I hate the French, oh,
 That's why I hate the French, mmm,
 That's why I hate the French.
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